When we were kids, being nice when meeting people was important.  Especially our elders, it’s a show of respect.  As you grow older, how to give respect can change.  This doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself or even a bit controversial.  Some men get this, while others don’t.  The “nice guy” constantly struggles with dating because he always feels that girls want a nice guy; however, when they are one, they are ignored.  What three things do nice guys do to put themselves in the friend zone? 

Being Too Nice

The one comment that makes men more frustrated is hearing that “you are too nice.” What does this mean? If your female friends or the woman you are interested in says you are a nice guy, that can tell you that she either doesn’t know enough about you and wants to say something pleasant or doesn’t have anything else to say that’s more appealing. It’s not a bad place to be, yet it may not be where you want to be. Think about the last time you talked about someone you knew well that you admired or impressed you. There are a lot more descriptive words to use than “nice.” Spend more time with her so she can see that you have great attributes she can share with others when they meet you for the first time.

Being Too Accessible

You like her, and you want to spend more time together. That doesn’t mean you drop everything for her when you are just getting to know each other. You have to live your life. I am not saying that you purposely ignore her. That is rude. However, if she calls and you are busy, it’s all right to reach back out when you can. If you have plans and can rearrange them for her, that’s cool, but if what you need to do is important, you can meet up with her later and talk about it. Any respectable woman will want you to take care of your business, as she is taking care of hers.

Being Too Agreeable

Have you ever met someone who agrees with you all the time? If so, there might be an issue. Even your closest friends disagree with you all the time. However, nice guys agree too often and expect brownie points for it. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, including the person you like. Just learn how to handle objections, discuss differences in opinion, and most importantly, take the time to understand their point of view. Clarify what is said; people will feel as if you heard them. Then, when you explain your point of view if you do, be clear and as direct as possible. If they want to explore it more, then so be it. If not, no worries. Remember, it’s not always about who is right or wrong. Just make sure that you genuinely hear each other.