Welcome to the Sanctuary
- It's all in the mind -
Simple Ways To Relieve Stress
It is clear we are living in a highly stressful age. If you discover that you are having a hard time with all that is going on, it’s understandable. Managing stress is important because it can have damaging long-term effects on your health. Take a step back and see how these 5 techniques can help you relive stress today.
Exercise
Exercise can be the most important things you can do to relieve stress. Exercising allows your body to have a much-needed mental break, and lowers your body’s stress hormones. Creating a routine that works for you is the best. Do not think that you have to do hours upon hours daily to see the benefits of exercising. According to Science Daily, walking at a brisk pace 30 minutes a few times a week has significant health benefits. I personally do a 30-45 minute walk every morning and feel awkward if I don’t do that walk in the morning. Take some time, find out which path, route or routine works best for you and stick with it. Small steps always lead to large achievements.
Watch Caffeine Intake and Get Sleep
The morning café is always a delight. The smell of the beans and the taste of the coffee is always welcome daily. At the same time, too much of anything isn’t good. Remember that caffeine is a natural stimulant that is in cacao, coffee, and tea to help you when you are in need of energy. The constant introduction of caffeine can be disruptive and cause more harm than good. Yes, it’s true that coffee and tea can have great health benefits and everyone’s caffeine tolerance is different. That said, having too much caffeine can make some feel more anxious, and impact your sleep. This is dangerous because sleep is extremely important to your overall health and stress relief. Sleep helps improve memory, reduces the risk of depression, helps maintain a healthy heart, and sleep is when your body heals and repairs itself. Next time you find yourself in the mid or late afternoon and you want a cup of coffee or tea, think about how much caffeine you have had today, and does it make sense to have it at this time of the day? If not, think about having a decaffeinated or non-caffeinated drink your body will thank you for it.
Just Say No
Who knew that someone in the ’80s was on to something? Just saying no, or just as importantly, learning to say no reduces stress tremendously. Having too many things going on can have you feeling overwhelmed which can cause stress. Sometimes it’s not the tasks that cause stress, but all the problems that happen when trying to complete the tasks. Saying no and realizing what is healthy for you to handle reduces stress because there are fewer things for you to worry about and situations you don’t have to deal with. Take a look at everything you are doing and involved with and see what things you can let go so you’re able to have a less stressful life.
Listen To Music
Who doesn’t love listening to their favorite artist or favorite song? I know that on stressful days there is a playlist that is on repeat to help me through things. Listening to music is known to help people feel better and relieve stress. I would suggest you look into relaxing instrumental music, or other music that relaxes you that is slower paced and put that playlist on repeat. This type of music lowers blood pressure and releases positive hormones in the body lifting your mood. Who wouldn’t want that? Here are a few playlists I recommend:
Understanding yourself is important. When you know yourself, you can appreciate what you do well and find ways to become better or get support for the things you can improve on. Self-awareness is at its best when you have mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to be aware of the moment and what it means, what feelings are happening, seeing the environment around you, and being in tune and comfortable with that. This doesn’t mean you are comfortable with what is happening and that you don’t want to change it. There are a lot of ways you can be better at mindfulness. There are apps such as Headspace that help or exercises that such as Tai Chi and yoga that can help. Recently, breathing has shown to help with mindfulness in many ways.
Book of the Month
When you give more, you get more in return
Quote of the Week
There is no noise as powerful as the sound of the marching feet of a determined people.
You Did Better Than You Think
A lot of us work really hard and are striving to become better every day. We fail and get back up. We win some and lose some. However, we can rarely take the time and see what we have done and appreciate it. We can get so caught up on our failures; we sometimes don’t look at our successes.
This year appreciate the victories that you have and know that you are better than you might think you are. Removing a negative mindset is like removing an old bumper sticker. It may take time, but remove it, but do it.
So if you are someone who leaves everything on the table every day, someone who tries their best or someone who is working to improve yourself daily, don’t stop moving forward but realize you have done more than you realize and feel proud of what you have done. It’s ok to celebrate you.
Looking Forward | Can it all be in the mind?
Recent events have hit a lot of us hard. Situations or circumstances have changed the landscape of things, and now a lot of us are moving in a different direction and have no clue what to expect. This can hold people back from moving forward and that is something I hope doesn’t happen. As much as we have all heard it before, what’s done is done and we cannot change that. This doesn’t mean that what you feeling isn’t right, or shouldn’t be acknowledged. This also doesn’t mean that you need to carry that forward. Remember that you can control what you can, and worry less about what you can’t control. What is nice about today is that you can control what happens from today forward. The emotions may not leave for a while, and that doesn’t mean that you can’t be better today. Here is a story that helps me keep this in perspective.
Story | Three guys traveling by themselves and they all somehow cross the same bridge to get to a hotel they are staying at that night. Each traveling and holding two bags. The first guy goes across and has both bags in his arms. One in each arm. The toll person asks, “Why do you have both bags in front of you?” He responds so that I remember all the good the bad things that have happened and kept them close to my heart.” He moves on.
The second guy comes up and he has one bag in his hands and the other one on his back like a backpack. The same toll attendant asks, “Why do you have one sack in front of you and the other on your back?” He responds, “So I can see all the good I have done before me and carry all the bad behind me.” He moves on.
The third guy walks up and has the same set up as the previous guy, but the toll attendant noticed that on the bag behind him, he cut a small hole. The attendant asks, “I noticed that you have a small hole in the bag on your back why is that?” The man said, “So l can leave behind what doesn’t matter anymore because my future is more important.”
Leave your baggage behind and look to something greater. It’s hard to move forward when you are always looking behind you. Take time to make things right within yourself. Be the best person you can.
People in your life
As you go throughout your life, you run into different people along the way. Each of them meaning something different to you in your life, especially if they stay a bit longer than the man at the coffee stand this morning or the woman you sat next to on the subway on the afternoon ride home. Identifying what each one means to you can mean the difference between success and failure in many different ways. Moreover, knowing who is who in your life can help you avoid or enjoy many years with the right people. So here are a few things to remember about the people in your life.
Your Friends
When I say friends, this is not the person you hang out with when you go bowling or the person you see at parties here. These are your true friends. People you can confide in. These can be people of any age, sex, or financial status, some of them are mentors that become friends. If you have four or more of them in your lifetime, consider yourself lucky.
Friendship is about growing together. They help you, guide you, and do their best to be patient with you when you are not at your best. Friends may not always be there with you but will be there through most of your trials and tribulations. Their call is just the same as a knock on the door. If they can’t help you in person, they say so or do their best to help you somehow or find someone who can. They lift you up and recharge you when you have given so much to others. They also stop you from making a mistake and will tell you when you are wrong. They tell you the truth, not because they want to hurt you, but because it will help you. They will annoy you, as you will them, and that is healthy in a relationship.
You cannot get to your full potential unless you have some of these. Remember that you can call someone your friend, and they may not call you one. There is nothing wrong with that, yet you should strive for that to be reciprocal.
Your Acquaintances
Also known as “casual friends”. They like you because of your reputation and like the same things you like. They will be around when things are going well and some might be around if things start going south. However, they hardly get in the weeds with you. If they find someone else that gets them closer to where they want to be, they will go with them. Examples of this are people who you go to events with from time to time and have no real history together with them other than just the places you go or events you both attend. Sometimes this is a casual running group, people who go to restaurants with or even work on a project. Once the project is done, then you rarely hear from them. This happens when dating too. Since they like you because of what you are doing or your current image, not because of you and what you care about. The caveat here is that people can easily mistake them for friends because they are similar. Acquaintance can become a friend over time, which is a good thing. When you receive less than what you give in return consistently, then they could be an acquaintance.
Someone You Know or Cool Peeps
People that you meet and will know for a short time, and may see here and there because of circles of friends or places you go, but are short-lived because they are here to fulfill a purpose. This is commonly referred to as the person who was in your life for a reason. They may help you see or realize something, or help you change direction.
Think of these people this way, when you travel on a plane, most of the time you go alone, and there are 200+ people flying with you. During that flight time, 1-18+ hours, you are all in the same space together. You meet someone on the place and have a great conversation and realize or discover something new that you didn’t know before and once the plane lands, you go your separate ways. Sometimes you might see each other while traveling because you go to the same places. They help you get better at something that you are working on in your life, and they helped you through it. Converging to a specific place because of a common purpose, but when it’s all done. This can be great because they help you get through it, but it can be bad if you think they are your friend and not. A lot of people get hurt this way.
Helping Someone Cope with Death and Dying
5 minute read
Losing someone can be extremely painful. Yes, it is part of life, which doesn’t make it any easier to grieve for someone you have lost. This is challenging when it’s someone close to us and it’s our first time. Often we find ourselves as one of the people who are there to support our friends or family through it all and we don’t know what to do and don’t want to make any mistakes. You may feel like a deer in headlights. Here are a few things that can help you support someone through the grieving of their loved one.
It’s Personal. People react to death differently, especially when it’s the first time they are dealing with the death of someone close to them, such as a parent, spouse, close friend, or sibling. Some want to talk about it, while others don’t want to say much during that time. This is normal and ok, because people will react differently. Additionally, you don’t want to continuously ask them if they are doing ok, especially when you are among a group of friends who knows that person. Once or twice is good enough over time, which could be a few weeks to a month. Fifteen people who ask how you are doing or feeling in a short period of time can get annoying quickly, and seem as if you are insensitive. Just make sure you are there for them as best you can, and this is about them and not you.
It’s Emotional. Most people can and will be very emotional, and at times not appear themselves. This is normal. There are a lot of emotions that are going through a person’s mind such as, “I should have said this” or “I only wish he or she should have known that…” There is no easy way to deal with a missed opportunity to express something to someone that has passed away because they may never know how you felt and that can bring upon extreme guilt. Recently I lost someone important, and I didn’t get the opportunity to express certain things, which was hard to deal with. However, if the person you are supporting made a sincere effort in reaching that person, as I did, but couldn’t, you can reassure them that the effort is good enough. This can help them not get lost in their emotions, and help them move forward sooner.
Be Patient. It may take some time for your loved one or friend to get over or come to terms with a loss. It can take a few weeks or even months. During that time, go at the pace of the person. Don’t worry. They will let you know. Think of this as if you were a passenger in their car. You will get where you need to go based on how fast they want to get there, being helpful for both you and them in the long run.
Be Supportive. You may be the person they share emotions and memories or whom they spend a lot of time with. You may also be the someone in whom they grab some coffee, exercise, or go shopping with as an escape from everything that is going on. Knowing how you can help is important, so you don’t overstep your bounds. Know that you are helping them because they are grieving, and being with them can mean so much. Sometimes when someone is grieving for a long time, they can become depressed. Be cautious when bringing the subject up and help them realize that getting help is a good thing. This will be a difficult conversation; however, it can help in the long run.
5 minute read